A group of us met together on the second floor of the coffee shop where I have been going to hide lately, and we did anything but. Hide, I mean. There were nine of us, perched in mismatched chairs and overstuffed sofas, gathered together just to be in the presence of other people who are trying to figure out the same kinds of things… like how to put to rest the embedded story that God is not in any of this… how to have “that conversation” with roommates and with family… how to remember that laughter is not only a defense mechanism. I can’t even quite explain what it felt like to be surrounded by people who knew about my sexuality, and not to have to go through that unbelievably painful moment where I come out to someone, and then somehow find myself profoundly grateful if they indicate that they are still going to recognize my humanity. Here, the only coming out that had to take place was when one of the girls came out as a Republican. (and yes, we still recognized her humanity
….)
We filled that little room with our stories and our laughter, to the point that I began to feel bad for the other people in that room. Like maybe I should be apologizing to them for the fact that they might not have come there on a Sunday afternoon, wanting to hear a bunch of gay and lesbian Christians talk about all the ways the world has surprised them, with its pain and with its beauty. But then I made an effort to uncurl myself from the fetal position I had assumed on the couch, and I sat up a little straighter and thought to myself… maybe it will be important for them to hear us finding our voices and claiming this small space in this world. And if it wasn’t important for them, then at least I am absolutely certain that it was for us.

7 comments
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November 5, 2007 at UTC3811UTC p20075530UTC05:
C
Hey guess what…. I’m a man.
~c
November 5, 2007 at UTC1211UTC p20074730UTC05:
Casey
Y’know, even for somebody who is out everywhere, sometimes even aggressively so… claiming that space today felt good, and yes, it was an important thing. I’ve never been a group of strangers before that so quickly felt like family – and like you wrote awhile back about FtBTMS, I felt like a part of the Body in a way that I haven’t before. Good times, and here’s looking forward to see you folks again. *smiles*
November 5, 2007 at UTC5111UTC p20074230UTC05:
steve
What a great afternoon you must have had! I am always coming out, and yesterday was one of those days. I was relating a story, and my partner was an integral part of that incident. I had to include him in telling it. The people hearing the story, a couple from my church, most likely know I’m gay, but I’ve never actually told them, nor have I mentioned my partner. you’ll soon find yourself coming out to many people in many big and small ways. Each time I do it, I know I’m making a stand for the lgbt community, slowly eroding the prejudice that still exists, especially in churches.
November 5, 2007 at UTC4911UTC p20075830UTC05:
Arcadia
I found your blog via the wordpress tag surfer… I just wanted to say how beautiful and inspirational I thought your post was. I’m glad you found your space
November 6, 2007 at UTC5011UTC p20074530UTC06:
gen.aviv
I also found your blog via wordpress tag surfer and I agree with Arcadia. I’m glad you found your space and was able to be who you are and express yourself. Good for you and it is wonderful that you have at least a core group of friends that you can relax with.
November 7, 2007 at UTC4611UTC p20074930UTC07:
scout
i am so thankful to have been extended an invitation to come last sunday. it was a breath of fresh air. one of the few beautiful things that comes from being secret and oppressed is the immediate sense of family and togetherness within our group. thank you.
November 7, 2007 at UTC0411UTC p20075730UTC07:
Alina
it was great to get to hear and share our stories. i can already see that this is going to be an uplifting and strengthening experience for me.